1. Master puzzle master, do you never drink? "sin, sin. ""Don’t you drink before you become a monk? " "sin, sin." "I don’t understand this. How can it be a sin to drink before becoming a monk?" "You pig with no understanding at all, how many times have I said" drunk "!"
2. hilarious joke: eating jiaozi in the dumpling shop, the boss’s soup is delicious, holding a bowl and holding another bowl, stirring it in the soup pot with a spoon, suddenly seeing a turtle inside, smiling at the boss’s wife and saying, "Boss, no wonder your soup is so delicious, it’s enough!" The proprietress came and took a look, and her face changed. She looked up at the upstairs and shouted, "Smelly boy, the bathroom door is not closed again, and your turtle has fallen into the soup pot!" "
3. Husband and wife were shopping when suddenly the wife said, "A beautiful woman just gave you a look." The husband said, "She’s not in love with me, is she?" The wife said, "Love yourself! Probably people think that you are like the worker who cleaned the range hood for her family last time. "
4. I lied to my parents about sleeping at my best friend’s house for one night and secretly climbing the mountain with my boyfriend. My mother, who had just arrived at the top of the mountain in the morning, called. I deliberately said sleepily, "What’s wrong with mom? I haven’t woken up yet!" " Mom roared: "You sleepwalked for more than 20,000 steps, and you dare to tell me that you didn’t wake up?"
On Saturday afternoon, I took my five-year-old daughter Mei Mei for a walk in the park. Not far away, a fashionable and beautiful girl is holding a beautiful pet dog. Mei Mei ran over and danced to tease the puppy, praising the puppy for its beauty! The pretty girl looked at Mei Mei and proudly said to the puppy, "Good baby, did you hear that? Miss Sister praises you for your beauty! " I was very angry when I heard the pretty girl talk like this, so I took Mei Mei and turned to leave. When the pretty girl saw it, she quickly said to the puppy, "Will you be angry if my sister ignores you?" I was about to get angry, but my daughter Meimei asked the pretty girl leisurely, "Sister, you are beautiful, and this puppy is beautiful, too. It must have been born to you, right?"
6. When I was in junior high school, the landlord was very rebellious. Once, because of the teacher’s complaint, I was beaten by my mother when I came home from school. At that time, my brain was caught in the door and I knocked down my mother’s adult. Then she sat on the ground and cried silently, which made my heart cry. The landlord knelt down and apologized. I’m sorry I won’t fight back again! Mom gave me a look and asked, Really? I gave a sincere thank you, and she stood up slowly, walked to the balcony and took out a pole. . .
7. In my sophomore year, I made a female friend and took her home to meet my mother. Since then, my mother has ordered me to change my clothes, shoes, socks and even bags into NIKE. It was not until graduation that I broke up with my girlfriend because of different places that my mother was relieved to allow me to have other choices in brand. I asked my mother why. Mom smiled and said something that I still don’t understand: sons are the pride of mom! Your girlfriend is as beautiful as a star, and I don’t want anything to happen to you …
8. When I was at school, the school suddenly launched an anonymous grading assessment for the class teacher, just to say that I can counterattack. As a result, after class, I was called to lecture and said that I didn’t respect the teacher behind my back. It was all anonymous, so how did I know that I voted for 59 points? With a blink of an eye, I went, and the whole class evaluated 100 points. I was very polite to bring my name, and I was the only one who was anonymous.
9. Women usually call sanitary napkins bread. Once my period came early, I went to borrow them from my female colleagues. I didn’t bring them around, so I had to ask a woman who was not very familiar. I sat next to her and whispered, Do you have any bread? She stood up directly, opened the drawer and replied loudly, I have no bread, but I have cookies. Do you want to eat them? Take them all! I’m messy ~
10. The son said: You haven’t given me lucky money yet! I said ask your mother for it. The economy is in crisis this year. Then show him my wallet. My son looked at me piteously, pulled out a red envelope and stuffed it into me and said, Dad, it doesn’t matter, I’ll give you lucky money this year!