Recently, four agreements signed by a lawyer’s mother and her 10-year-old son in Dongguan, Guangdong Province, have attracted the attention of netizens and the media. Some people think that signing the agreements is conducive to the establishment of children’s legal awareness, while others think that the agreements lack human touch. The lawyer’s mother told the Beijing Youth Daily reporter that in the past five years, children have grown a lot from passive signing to active participation in the agreement, and they are used to being the son of "Party B" in the agreement, and they are increasingly aware of the importance of rules and vouchers.
Mother and child sign pocket money agreement to lead to controversy
"It is confirmed by both parties that 20 yuan will be paid on the 10th of each month. The above pocket money is mainly used to buy stationery, books, interpersonal communication and snacks. Party B shall inform Party A of the use of the amount exceeding 5 yuan, and Party B promises not to buy snacks within the school. If the price rises, Party B needs to increase the amount of pocket money, and both parties can negotiate separately. " This passage comes from a Supplementary Agreement on Pocket Money signed by Lv Yuanxia, a partner lawyer of a law firm in Dongguan, Guangdong Province, and her son Wang on October 10th this year.
The reporter of Beiqing Daily saw that the column of Party A in this Supplementary Agreement for Pocket Money reads "Xiao Min’s Mom" and the column of Party B reads "Xiao Min". There are seven clauses in total, which stipulate the use and amount of pocket money, the conditions for Party B to get pocket money, the conditions for Party B to get extra pocket money and the settlement of disputes. The last item is a special reminder, which reads "Party B expresses that it is very happy to recognize the above system and is willing to abide by and implement it".
Regular French describes only the pocket money agreement in 20 yuan. This agreement, which reveals "contrast" everywhere, quickly triggered a hot discussion among netizens once it was reported by the media. Many netizens said that this kind of education method is very novel and is conducive to the cultivation of children’s legal awareness and sense of rules. Some netizens also questioned that it was somewhat impersonal to imprison a child’s childhood in a cold agreement.
Lv Yuanxia told the reporter of Beiqing Daily that this Supplementary Agreement on Pocket Money was signed by his son Wang on his own initiative, and this agreement is not the first agreement between mother and son. "From the age of five to ten, from kindergarten to primary school, we have signed four agreements."
Four mother-child agreements spanning five years
"When I signed the first agreement with Wang, it was five years ago. He was only five years old and still in kindergarten." Lv Yuanxia can’t remember how many agreements she signed at work, but she remembers the time and content of each agreement between her and her son Wang.
The birth of the first agreement came from the flash of light of Lv Yuanxia. "At that time, Wang was very naughty. He was playful, didn’t like to pack things, and loved watching cartoons. Adults said that he didn’t have much effect." Lv Yuanxia recalled that Wang loved watching two cartoons, Dora the Explorer and Bears. "I just wanted to watch cartoons as a reward, talk to him about some conditions and establish his sense of rules."
In the agreement treasured by Lv Yuanxia, the reporter of Beiqing Daily saw that this is a relatively "simple" agreement with only five clauses. In the agreement, Party B (Wang) is required to finish his homework according to the regulations, fold his clothes after taking a shower, and abide by the rules and regulations in the kindergarten, and the "generous welfare" is to watch Dora the Explorer and Bears on Saturdays. At the end of the agreement, it reads, "The above agreement is based on Party B’s temporary illiteracy, but after Party A reads it aloud and repeatedly informs Party B, it shows that Party B has known the above contents agreed by both parties". At the end of the agreement, both mother and son signed their names and pressed their red fingerprints.
In September 2015, Wang went to primary school from kindergarten. With the task of studying, Lv Yuanxia pondered to sign a second agreement with her son. The second agreement is a reward and punishment system. In the system, if Wang "takes the initiative to read and study at night" and "gets praise at school", he will be rewarded with different numbers of "stars"; If you violate the rules, you will be deducted "stars". After reaching 100 stars every week, you can "satisfy a wish or get a mysterious gift".
The third agreement is the original version of the Supplementary Agreement for Pocket Money at the beginning. "We hold family discussions every week. At the end of 2016, Wang said at the meeting that he saw that his classmates had pocket money and wanted to have it, so I drafted an" Allowance Agreement ",and the amount at that time was set at 20 yuan every month."
Lv Yuanxia said that the fourth Supplementary Agreement on Pocket Money was the first time that my son volunteered to sign a new agreement. Although the monthly standard in 20 yuan was maintained in the agreement, the conditions for getting pocket money and getting extra pocket money were increased. "He began to feel that he didn’t have enough money to spend, so he asked to update the agreement. We signed the fourth agreement after deliberation. "
The agreement witnessed the change of the son.
"When signing the first agreement, he didn’t know what the agreement was. He only knew that he would get benefits if he signed it, so he signed it and pressed his handprint, and he was very happy to cooperate." Lv Yuanxia recalled the scene when Wang signed the first agreement.
In contrast, nowadays Wang has been able to ask for the renewal of the agreement, discuss the terms of the agreement with his parents, and identify the "tricks" played by his mother on the signing time of the agreement. "He was a little dissatisfied with this agreement, and felt that there were no terms binding on adults. For example, he suggested that if I didn’t go home before 9 pm, I would have to pay a fine from 5 yuan." Lv Yuanxia laughed.
In Lv Yuanxia’s view, "Party B" Wang is increasingly aware of the importance of rules and vouchers. She said that Wang always keeps a receipt for everything he eats. He thinks that if food poisoning happens, the receipt can be used as evidence. "Once a classmate borrowed 10 yuan from him, so he found a small note and wrote a simple ‘ IOU ’ Ask both parties to sign. " However, this "IOU" was finally lost by Wang. "I later asked him if he had paid back the money. He said that the note was lost and there was no voucher to ask for money."
Text/reporter Li Tao Intern Li Zhuoya
conversation
Lawyer’s mother: agreement can help children build a sense of rules.
Recently, four agreements signed by Lv Yuanxia, a lawyer’s mother in Dongguan, Guangdong Province, and Wang, a 10-year-old son, have caused controversy among netizens. While some netizens praised it, there were also voices that questioned that signing an agreement with children was too "cold". A few days ago, lawyer mother Lv Yuanxia accepted an interview with a reporter from Beiqing Daily. She said that the agreement can help her son establish a sense of rules and let him know that life can’t be arbitrary.
Beiqing Daily: Why did you think of signing an agreement with your son?
Lv Yuanxia: The signing of the first agreement is really an interesting experiment, and there are many very casual and happy expressions in the content of the agreement. After signing the agreement, I turned to think that this method is actually quite good. Because I have been a lawyer for so many years, I have also come into contact with many cases of juvenile delinquency, most of which are caused by weak legal awareness. Therefore, I think it’s a good way to establish the awareness of rules for Wang through these agreements.
Beiqing Daily: Is there a time when Wang is unwilling to abide by the agreement?
Lv Yuanxia: When he first signed the first agreement, he was still young, and he couldn’t understand the meaning of the agreement. He often cheated and didn’t abide by it. We usually wait for him to reason with him when he is finished, and slowly accept it. Now our agreement also has the right to raise objections. If there is any dispute, the elder, that is, his grandmother, will be invited to arbitrate.
Beiqing Daily: What do you think is the biggest impact of the agreement on Wang?
Lv Yuanxia: On the one hand, of course, it is the establishment of a sense of rules that let him know that life can’t be arbitrary. On the other hand, it is the shaping of the concept of money. Through rewards and pocket money, he can realize that money is not obtained out of thin air, but needs to be produced through labor and hard work. Including me, I will also ask him to help me sort out the file numbers in my law firm. For 5 yuan a copy, he can understand that it is not easy for me to make money from my work.
Beiqing Daily: Do you think the agreement has a positive or negative impact on your mother-child relationship?
Lv Yuanxia: My current feelings are quite positive, because in many families, parents have the final say, and children are unconditionally obedient. Even if parents are right, children will be dissatisfied with their parents in conflicts and arguments. With the agreement, Wang will think that it is not my mother who won’t let me do it, but that the agreement agreed by both of us requires it, so this dissatisfaction will not fall on the parents.
Beiqing Daily: Some netizens questioned that it was too impersonal to sign such an agreement with children. What do you think?
Lv Yuanxia: That’s because now everyone only sees the agreement signed between Wang and me, but not our real life. In fact, these agreements only account for a small part of our lives and are a little fun. In our daily life, we don’t have to sign an agreement for everything, nor do we follow the agreement completely.
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